Let’s talk about burnout
As it’s #WorldMentalHealthDay2022 it’s time to talk about burnout.
I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while, but I’ve kept finding excuses to put it off. Today seems like a good day to finally do it!
In early 2022 I burnt out. Badly. I was dealing with health issues (now diagnosed as probable endometriosis) and was feeling the pressure to keep working and pushing through it. Turns out there’s a limit to how much you can ‘just push through’ until your body makes you stop. Eventually my doctor signed me off work to try and take some of the work pressures away so that I could rest up.
At this point I felt like the biggest failure. I felt like it shouldn’t matter how many things the universe was throwing at me, I should just be able to juggle it all. I didn’t even want to talk about it for a long time and I didn’t want anyone to know about it because I felt like nobody would understand. I had a little voice in the back of my head saying that nobody would like me if they realised that I’m only human and can’t do everything.
There was another layer of stress given that I’d moved away from academia and into an industry role. There’s been suggestions that industry is a magical place where burnout didn’t exist, so I felt almost embarrassed that I’d moved from academia to industry and then experienced burnout.
But over time I started remembering tweets and blogs from people I respect talking about their own experiences of burning out. That gave me some breathing room and a reminder that I wasn’t alone in it all, so I’m incredibly grateful for those who are open about mental health. It’s what has fuelled this blog, if sharing my experiences can help one person, then it’s worth it.
I ended up working with an amazing psychologist and we did some Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. We did some work about accepting my health conditions and limits, but we also spent time looking at my values and what’s important to me and this was a game changer.
She asked me one question that changed everything — What puts a fire in your belly? The answer was teaching; working with students and sharing knowledge is what I’m really passionate about.
I decided to take the horrible experience of burnout and try to make some positive changes. I changed jobs (back to academia!) so that I could teach and work with students again, I started putting firmer boundaries in place, and I started being kinder to myself. It’s been a long and hard journey to this point but I’m finally feeling like I’m in a better position.
Burnout is not a fun place to be, but it’s more common than we’d think. You’re not alone if you’re experiencing burnout and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It can feel scary to talk about these things, but by opening up we can hopefully start to create a kinder and more open environment aimed at reducing burnout in the first place.